Copyright © Geoff Thompson 2004
The right of Geoff Thompson to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with section 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
No part of this book may be reproduced by any means, nor transmitted, nor translated into a machine language, without the written permission of the publisher.

‘He who wishes to fight must first count the cost.’ – Sun Tzu

It took me a week to hunt down the violent criminals that burgled my home, this encompassing many frightening confrontations. Now I was back home, loot in hand, trouble over and peace restored. The aftermath began. It hit me harder than a tax bill. Aftermath, an explosion of emotions, always comes after adversity, after you have taken your body and mind to their physical and mental limits you often experience a partial emotional breakdown (some people experience a total nervous breakdown after being attacked/raped etc.). If you’ve been exposed to big build ups of adrenalin and it isn’t released (the physical act of fighting back/running etc. utilises the adrenalin) as was the case this time, the aftermath is worse, as the body still needs ‘release’, its natural release being aftermath. Usually I prepare myself for aftermath just by expecting it. When you expect something to happen the impetus of it is lessened. This time, due to the elation of retrieving my loot without even having to fight I forgot my preparation. ‘Sharon had gone to visit her nan, I was alone in the house when it started, the depression, the shame, the hate, the worry. I felt like I was dying inside, then the tears gushing out like Niagara floods, then the absolute shame for crying. What a wanker, crying like a baby, but cry I did for half an hour. I sat in to the chair wanting to disappear in to its arms. I was beyond comforting, I jumped out of the chair screaming like a wild animal and punched the wall several times until my hands swelled and bled, then I felt ashamed for damaging myself and cried again. I felt like I was dying. I fell from the chair to my knees and sobbed. This was aftermath.’ – Watch My Back

As if the trauma of an attack isn’t enough, afterwards follows the aftermath of emotion which can often leave a scar on the psyche that will long outlast any physical scars the victim may have incurred. Some victims of robbery, burglary and rape never emotionally recover. Victims of burglaries are often so incensed by the crime that they cannot bear to live in their house any longer; they sell up and move, then often still live in constant fear of a burglary to their new home, especially older people who have not the will or constitution to fight this corroding emotion. Rape victims, especially the ones who were too frightened to fight back, are often the worst hit by the intangible phenomenon that has driven many to nervous breakdowns, insanity and even suicide. Victims of unsolicited violence are often, as an after effect, too frightened to go out alone and live under the dominion of that fear for many years, some for life.

The stress of the aftermath often takes its toll on the family unit, sometimes, especially in rape cases, causing divorce or separation, then later problems with new spouses and new families. Victims of rape often live with a terrible underlying feeling of guilt and rage (post assault guilt/rage syndrome), believing that perhaps in some perverse way they were at fault. They are also often left with a feeling of low or no self-worth.

Of course, the blame for the sickening crime of rape is never and can never be apportioned to the victim. Much of the guilt stems from the fact that the victim feels as though she did not fight off the attacker with enough zest. The feeling is then re-emphasised when in court (if it ever gets to court – it is said that a third of rape cases are not even reported), the rapist’s defending council verbally rips the victim to pieces and attacks her with insulting and insinuating questions, suggesting that she in some way condoned and enjoyed the act and that his client (the rapist) is really the victim. The court case can even be more demanding and damaging for the victim than the rape itself.

EXPECTED SYMPTOMS

Most victims of physical attack, across the board, can expect mild to severe depression and, if capitulation and submission were facets of the attack, post-assault guilt and rage. A severe loss of confidence may be experienced along with temper tantrums, severe mood swings and irrational behaviour. Sometimes prolonged crying spells and spates of depression may occur for no apparent reason. Often there is a feeling of low self-worth and a depressing lack of hope, as though the future is full of doom and gloom.

I have been in many bad situations and have experienced many of these feelings; sometimes they all fuse together and you don’t know what it is you’re feeling, only that it’s bad. Even when you successfully defend yourself you may still get bouts of depression and gloom.

I’m not a medical person, so I would not presume to tell you how to overcome these feelings. I am an empiricist and with me it is, or has been, a way of life; these feelings, as unwelcome as they are, are very common to me. This familiarity loses the feelings’ impetus so I can handle them better than most. If you feel like crying, then cry; even deliberately watch a sad film to bring the tears on, as crying can be therapeutic. The tears contain a hormonal release that will make you feel better – it is nature’s way of releasing the bad emotions from your body that may otherwise lay trapped. It is said that, in the long term, trapped emotions can have a very detrimental effect, often developing into psychosomatic illnesses, ulcers, irritable bowel syndrome and bad nerves. So do not harbour the tears, let them flow.

The aftermath may be little more than mild depression that you may feel capable of handling. If the symptoms are more severe you should consult you own G.P. or talk to your loved ones: ‘A problem shared is a problem halved’.

Another doozy to watch out for post assault is the Black Dog (see earlier). Many I know who have been victims of attack spend weeks, months, years, even the rest of their lives, trying to rationalise their actions and trying to justify the inadequacy of their performance in the attack scenario – or non-performance as the case may be. A perception of failing to protect loved ones in their time of need is another huge cause of depression. As I said before, don’t have any of it. In most attack situations flight is not only the right option, it’s the only safe and sensible option. But remember to expect the aftermath.

The main aim of this chapter is to enlighten you. Again, ‘Forewarned is forearmed’. If you expect the aftermath and prepare yourself mentally, its impetus is greatly lost.

Knowledge is power.